just a thought

date and time: saturday, 10:03am.
location: Rizal Library.
mission: research for my thesis before the driver comes back from the car shop.

obviously, m not doing a very good job fulfilling my mission. instead of searching through the OPAC and browsing through books and journals, i am here at the library's new computer terminal, reading my mail and updating my blog.

there is just something so alluring about flat screen computers and fast internet connections. maybe its because i have neither at home, so when i encounter them outside, i just got to have a taste. sounds adulterous, i know. i feel like im cheating on my compaq. that computer's been so good to me. we have spent countless of hours together, downloading songs, researching for papers, chatting and YM-ing (another new word for the dictionary folks!), playing games, reading other people's blogs. but what can i do? i am only human. i have weaknesses.

i am not blaming my computer for its shortcomings. if anything, i blame myself. i certainly have gone through the "what ifs": what if i had stopped downloading at 30 songs instead of 50? what if i hadn't installed the complete sims package? what if i had taken just one night to defrag my computer? what if i had properly registered every software i got off the internet? what if i didn't download bearshare, kazaa, quicktime, net transport? what if i had just let the computer rest whenever its CPU became hot to the touch?

that computer has served me well, and as i caress the keyboard of this LG flatron, i feel a sudden emptiness, for i realize that though this flatron has a fast internet connection, my compaq back home has something more important. it holds my life's works, my failed attempts, and the key to some of my most treasured memories. everytime you open that compaq, you get to know me a little bit better. i know now that that compaq has taught me a lot of things: patience, perseverance, well-preparedness, and good grammar. best of all, i realized that there are so many things in this world that may seem better than what we have, but in the end, what really matters most are the relationships we create with one another, even if it just with a computer.